I was a prodigal.

Sure, I masked my inner rebellion with excellent grades, modest athletic achievement, student leadership positions and a high degree of socialization. But the truth was still there.

I was a prodigal.

I ran from God. I ran from reality. Chasing wine, women and song helped me gain over 15 kg my first year of college and cut my grade point average nearly in half.

Some of my friends reached out to me. They helped me see that I was leaving a wake of strained and broken relationships behind me. They didn’t judge me (well, some did). A few close friends demonstrated that they cared more for me than for my approval. They spoke hard truth with radical grace into my situation.

I was a prodigal. These friends were the arms of a loving father, reaching out and waiting for me to return. To forgive. To invite me to more.

Thanks, friends. It is in your honor that I pray for prodigals on this annual Prayer for Prodigals day, June 2. You can pray for them too. If you want more information, or have interest in journeying with others who are wrestling with a prodigal, visit here.

After all, we’re all prodigals in need of radical grace, aren’t we?

Read Jesus’ version of the story here.

It’s the first Monday morning workday of 2011 and I have just wrapped up my weekly prayer time with a couple of other men in downtown Orlando. Our conversation surprised me: no one has made any new year’s resolutions. Since the three of us tend to be future-oriented overachievers, I found it interesting not only that we had not made resolutions, but the reasons behind why we had abstained.

Basically, each of us has realized the need for a more profound sense of resting in God’s love in the present. We are inadequate; he makes us adequate. For me this translates into a fresh study of the meaning of the gospel in my own life, relationships and leadership. On January 1st I began looking at each occurrence of the word “gospel” in the New Testament. The ways Jesus, Luke, Paul and Peter use the word (which means “good news”) has already begun to blow fresh breeze through my soul.

I am praying this will impact the way I interact with people in 2011. Sometimes I receive feedback that my intensity and self-confidence unintentionally push away the very people who are closest to me. If I am living freely in God’s grace, experiencing the gospel each day, I hope that others will feel drawn to Christ in me. By God’s grace, I will have loved, lived and led better by this time next year.

How about you? What’s on your mind as you look ahead to 2011?

Today is Halloween, also known as Reformation Day. On this day in 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenburg, Germany, forever cementing his reputation as a rebel/prophet/professor with a cause. Here’s a great post that captures the history of Reformation Day.

Today also happens to be my spiritual birthday. It’s great to wake up early on October 31st each year, kneel in thanks and praise to the one true God, and remember trading in my citizenship from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. My life was radically changed on this day. And it keeps on changing. Have a great day!

Ann and I recently celebrated two major milestones – 25 years of marriage and a newly emptied nest – by taking a week on the Greek island of Kos. It was so awesome that I think we’re going to start taking silver anniversary trips every year. You can view a few pix here.

It costs time and money to celebrate well. Each day we did something special that reminded us of fun activities we’ve pursued at different times in our lifelong friendship. We rented mountain bikes, sailed a catamaran in the Aegean Sea, strolled on the beach, hiked in the hills and ate lots of great Greek food. Near the end of our week we took in the island’s breathtaking views by moped.

A nearly perfect day concluded with a small blip. While climbing up a fairly steep hill, the switchback was too slick and I laid the bike down on our turn. Bam! I vaguely remember apologizing to Ann on the way down: “I’m sorryyyy…” Though we weren’t moving fast we landed hard. Picture 450 pounds of bodies and bike simply falling over in your driveway – you get the idea. Ann bunged up her knee. I absorbed most of the impact with my right shoulder and a split second later felt two dull ‘pops’ in my chest. Thankfully I walked away with only bruised – and extremely tender – ribs. The doctor said they would be sore for 2-3 months.

“I Need Help”

Those three words are some of the most difficult for independent, healthy, self-sufficient people to say. Yet, they have come out of my mouth more in the past week than probably in the past six months. Bruised ribs hurt. They hurt when I stand, walk, turn, lie down, sit up, sleep, eat. Shoot, they hurt when I breathe.

So, it’s easy for you to picture us traveling through five airports on the way home. I have to ask for help. Ann has her knee bandaged up and limps through the airport, hoisting our luggage onto the check-in scales. I, the ever chivalrous husband, deftly handle the tickets and passports. When we board, Ann takes off my backpack and puts it in the overhead bin because I can’t lift my arm that high. I am hyper-aware of people looking at us, probably thinking: What a jerk. Dude, help your wife. All I want is a t-shirt that reads “I have severe internal injuries – you just can’t see them.”

Of course this doesn’t end with our trip. Yesterday I went to Lowe’s to buy two 40-pound bags of salt for our water system. Dani, a very friendly young cashier, takes my credit card. I find myself saying those three words again to her: “I need help. Can you call someone over to help me get these bags into my car?”

“Don’t worry,” says Dani. “Just back your car up and I’ll get them for you.”

Ouch.

Lesson: True humility flows from a sense that I need others. People can’t read my mind and often can’t see where I hurt. I need to verbalize my need and ask for help.

Sometimes I’m not sure what I want to write about, or if what I write will really make a difference. During these periods I’m learning a simple lesson: Write anyway.

Anyone who has mastered a skill, a sport, an instrument, painting, speaking or writing will probably offer you the same advice: Stay at it. Research streams consistently tell us that it takes about 10,000 hours in a complex activity to become an expert. That’s roughly five years of working 40 hours per week at something. OK, inhale. Exhale. My experience shows that depending on the complexity of the task and how deeply ingrained I want it to become a habit, it will probably take three to six months to get over the hump, then another year to really feel like I know what I am doing. This has proved true for changing my diet, learning a new job, making a new exercise program a part of my life, doing doctoral level research, and leading teams.

This morning I was in a conversation with someone who wants to start blogging. I offered him the same advice I had received three years ago when I began writing www.OnLeadingWell.com. I knew I wanted to blog regularly but feared I would lose motivation. These three questions helped me focus:

1. What am I passionate about? This must be something I naturally think about, read about, live out and and discuss with friends late at night.

2. What am I knowledgeable about? I have more than a handful of blog posts in my head on this topic AND I could write about it regularly.

3. What do I want to focus on and continue to learn about, perhaps to a point of mastery? I will add value for my readers only if I provide them with ideas, inspiration and resources that they might not have the time, perspective or connections to find on their own.

The best blogs, the ones I find myself returning to over and over again, seem to share these characteristics. So, if you’re wondering what to write about, find a blank piece of paper and answer these three questions. Make some notes. Jot down random ideas. Draw a few pictures. Then put it aside for a day and come back and stare at it. You’ll find what you’re looking for.

Here are two great links on overcoming inertia when trying to write blogs (by Michael Hyatt) or books (by Matt Mikalatos).

So, what do you want to write about?

Tomorrow I am attempting to ride my bicycle 170 miles (~274 km) across the state of Florida. Lord, legs and lungs willing, several hundred cyclists will begin at sunrise on the eastern Atlantic coast and finish on the western Gulf coast before sunset (see map). A huge party with lots of BBQ will lure us to complete our journey.

The farthest I’ve ever cycled in one day was 92 miles. Tomorrow is nearly twice that distance. During my last few training rides I’ve been asking myself: Will my body even be able to endure this distance and time in the saddle? What will be necessary to finish well? Here are four crucial secrets to extreme endurance that I’ve gleaned from veterans. It seems these same principles apply to many other challenging endeavors in life:

1. Have the right equipment. Most of us won’t be riding $5,000 all-carbon frame bikes with elite racing components. But those who finish will have good quality road bikes that are clean and well-tuned. They’ll also have the right clothing for pressure points that matter most, such as well-padded shorts, stiff shoes with cleats, comfortable gloves and good shades.
2. Train appropriately. Tomorrow’s ride is not a sprint, it’s a double-marathon of 10-11 hours. Finishers will need long, steady-paced effort. The training base required is one of regular 1, 2 and 3-hour rides over the past several months. Unless you’ve already developed the wind and strength in another sport, it’s unlikely you can just wake up and decide to do this. Intentional, specific preparation will be key.
3. Replenish along the way. Carbo-loading the night before is a myth. That energy might last an hour or two. We’ll be burning about 800 calories per hour and sweating out several pounds of fluids in 90 degree (32 C) weather. Muscles will be screaming for glycogen to fuel their efforts. Though I won’t need to replace my energy calorie-for-calorie, I will need to be eating and drinking constantly if I don’t want to bonk. I’ll be consuming lots of complex carbs, protein, and electrolytes to ensure my engine keeps running smoothly.
4. Rely on others. It’s common knowledge that geese can fly about 70% farther in V-formation than by going it alone. The same is true for cycling with a group of people who share leadership in a paceline. There’s no way I’d be able to ride that distance without drafting behind others. Etiquette will also require that I pull my fair share of time up front, helping break the wind for the group. I’m riding with a couple of friends, and we’ll attach ourselves to various groups along the route. When my motivation flags, others’ vision will spur me to keep pedaling. My sweet wife Ann will be driving our sag wagon, toting extra food, water and gear that we may need throughout the day. It takes a village….

What challenge are you currently facing that may require different equipment, new training, continuous help along the way, or increased reliance on your network?

This is one of 15 core posts in RE-think: Campus Crusade’s 3rd Annual Blogference, running April 13-15, 2010. Please join the conversation.

“Own your own development” we’ve been told. In an age of overload we need to RE-think how to cultivate our own personal leadership development. Though I must take responsibility to make wise choices, ultimately it’s God who causes the growth in my life. Below are four proven pathways to personal growth that fellow leaders have passed along to me and have now become lifetime habits.

Expose yourself to other leaders and study how they lead. Good leaders are all around us. How do they make decisions? How do they create an environment for productive group interaction? How do they inspire hope while authentically revealing their own struggles and doubts? Buy someone lunch and ask him or her how they balance the eternal leadership tensions between people and production; setting direction and releasing others; short-term results and long-term impact.

Read deep and wide. Scan broadly. Constantly skim, noticing trends in topics and conversations. Get to know a handful of ancient and contemporary authors’ voices. As you identify authors and bloggers that speak to you, follow their thinking through the years. Yes, years. You’re in this for the long haul, right? Read and reread selectively. Reflect, chew, pray, and digest. Seek wisdom and personal transformation. If you need some ideas, here’s my 2010 Leadership Reading List.

Embrace divine displacement. Consider these personal LD plans: Moses spent 40 years in the desert (twice), Joseph languished 13 years in prison, Ruth endured famine for 10 years then became widowed, and David hid in caves for 7 years. Interviews with hundreds of business and ministry leaders consistently reveal that the majority of developmental experiences occur in-the-trenches (32%), during times of significant transition (27%), or in personal relationships (23%). Note that formal training content is a distant fourth. Leaders develop as they are doing their work and leading on the edge of their comfort zones.* One essential developmental task of Christian leadership involves forging a personal theology of suffering that embraces blocked goals, unmet expectations and broken people (see Romans 5:3-5). God’s LD plan typically leads us toward whole-hearted dependence upon him rather than finding easier ways to make life work without him.

Act on what you know. “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:17). No matter what scope of responsibility you’ve been entrusted with, leading and serving other people gets complicated. There will always be more great ideas to consider, more trends to analyze, more people to consult, and more needs than you can possibly meet. Today’s information explosion can freeze us into analysis paralysis. Effective leaders focus their actions and own the gap between knowing and doing. In our noisy world Jesus’ voice beckons: Act on what you know.

Join the conversation: What is working (or lacking) in your personal approach to leadership development?

*Source: McKenna, Robert B., and Paul R. Yost. “Leadership Development and Clergy: Understanding the Events and Lessons That Shape Pastoral Leaders.” Journal of Psychology & Theology 35, no. 3 (2007): 179-189.

From my back porch: Today I’m writing my first post/tweet/FB status update in over a month. The mallards and sandhill cranes that nestle on the pond behind our home don’t seem to notice I’ve been offline. This is day #29 of my sabbatical and I’m feeling pretty dialed in to nature.

The verdict is in: Sabbatical works. With only two days left, I feel refreshed, restored and eager to reengage. If you’re considering a sabbatical anytime soon, here are some of my takeaways:

1. Intentionally break your routine on Day #1. At the advice of two close friends, on Monday, March 1st I packed a small overnight bag and checked into the Canterbury Episcopal Retreat Center about 10 miles from my home. Just one night and two full days. This provided the clean break and a mental ‘reset’ button to help me escape the pull of gravity around my home. I took long prayer walks on the grounds. I fell asleep on a bench in the sun. I packed a few books on Contemplative Prayer, a topic I had been eager to learn more about but ‘never had the time.’ I read one or two chapters from each and tried some of the forms. I threw my road bike in the trunk and explored a new 40-mile bike trail. I worshipped.

2. Don’t hurry. Donna, another friend who just finished her sabbatical in January, offered this wise counsel. I had to repeat this to myself several times the first few days. It became pretty natural after the voices in my head quieted down on Day #4. Grace and peace are yours for the taking.

3. Pursue the people and activities you love. Sabbatical is all about fueling your soul. Don’t do the stuff you don’t want to do. Avoid obligatory social events if you really don’t feel like going. I did a few small projects around the house – ‘quick wins’ – but left the major stuff for another month. I took my Taylor guitar out to the beach and sang my way through about 30 of my favorite praise songs. Indulge in family and friends.

4. Have a plan, but flex as you go. I broke the month of March into four weeks, each with its own focus on being, learning, doing and/or writing. It really helped me, for instance, to save reading any books on leadership until week #4, since that tends to be my default setting. I also used the month to train my palate to enjoy eating healthier foods and lost a few pounds along the way. Days #30 & 31 have been set aside as an onramp back to reality.

5. Have a strong support system. Hebrews 4: 11 exhorts us to “strive to enter God’s rest.” It takes a village and a lot of advance planning to rest well. Ann amazed me in her strong spousal support. She was virtually silent on any work-related issues for a month. Kudos also to my assistant Kelly for deleting… um… handling… most of my email; to my teammates for honoring my boundaries; and to my boss for his whole-hearted support of this time away.

6. Go public. By publicly declaring my intentions and my dates away I was able to set reasonable expectations for colleagues and people I care about. My ‘out of office’ reply clearly communicated that I would not feel obliged to respond to any email received during this month and asked colleagues to resend important email on April 1. This also helped maintain accountability when I was tempted to cheat.* Worthy of note: Michael Hyatt (CEO of Thomas Nelson) and John Piper (preacher, writer, speaker and book-writing machine) both went public this week, saying they are taking social media sabbaticals for the next 3 weeks and 8 months, respectively. Piper’s explanation is worth a read. Maybe we’re starting a movement….

7. Don’t break your rules. Exercising your ‘no’ muscle allows you to say ‘yes’ to the deeper yearnings burning within. For me, this meant no meetings, no business travel, no work-related phone calls or email, no Tweets, no Facebook posts, no blogging. I fudged once or twice for unique circumstances, and upon reflection I honestly don’t even think those were necessary. For one month away most things can wait. Here are two great HBR posts on unplugging and not breaking your own vacation rules. Be self-aware enough to know if you’re crossing the line into legalism or obnoxiousness in the process. Just like authentic Christian faith, sabbatical isn’t about what you avoid. It’s all about what you pursue.

How are you doing in exerting sufficient self-leadership to enter into regular days or seasons of personal restoration?

*Pulling away revealed deeper heart issues that I’ll tackle in another post.

Sabbath, noun, a period of rest.

For the past 15 years I have enjoyed what I call “distance leadership” roles. Ministering over geographic and cultural distance taps into my gifts and passions. It also demands a lot of travel and emotional energy.

In 2002 a number of challenges led to me to begin taking a regular weekly Sabbath. My goal was simple: no email, no phone, and no wristwatch for 24 hours each week. Since that time I’d say I’ve averaged about 35-40 good Sabbaths each year. Not perfect, but definitely profitable. I’ve also managed to squeeze in one or two “mini-sabbatical” weeks each year which have been devoted to reading, reflection and prayer.

Last August the Lord showed me that my soul needs to take an extended rest from ministry. There’s a subtle temptation, almost unnoticeable, that creeps in when one is constantly positioned to help others enjoy Jesus: we can stop enjoying Jesus for ourselves. When this happens we can be in danger of drying up as a branch, or worse, losing our First Love. To combat this condition, most missions organizations provide for regular sabbaticals to refresh one’s soul. It might help to think of this period as an athlete looks at off-season. In off-season, athletes continue to work out and to cross-train, but their bodies enjoy a break from intense competition. It’s a chance for the body to recover and for the mind to gain new perspectives on its craft.

Campus Crusade offers senior staff members one month of sabbatical for every four years served. Stunningly, very few people take this gift. We talk about how we long for rest, but we’re too busy to take it.

In his eternal wisdom, God has provided for us regular periods of rest. It began with creation (“on the seventh day, God rested from his work.”) It continues throughout Scripture. Here are a few passages of the many that highlight our need for regular celebration and rest:

• See! The Lord has given you the Sabbath. (Exodus 16:29)
• Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. (Exodus 20:8)
• Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)
• And Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. (Mark 2:27)
• So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. (Hebrews 4:9)
• Draw near to God, he will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

In March I will be taking a one-month Sabbatical. My goal is simple: To draw near to Jesus in fresh, unhindered ways so I can experience fresh power and fruitfulness in the next season of ministry.

This is a HUGE step of faith for me at this time. For the next 31 days I will not be answering any work-related email or phone calls. No ministry-related travel. No meetings. No trips to the office. Nothing. Nada. Everything has been placed in the capable hands of my Lord and my team. I am fairly confident the world will continue to spin without my help.

It requires faith to believe God works even when we don’t. I’ve learned that in Scripture, and in life, Sabbath is not so much a day off, but a day with. It’s a time to be with the Lord and with special people who restore our passion for living and loving well.

As the Lord prompts you, would you pray for me during March? Pray those verses above for me. Ask that Jesus would give me the discipline to wean myself from work, from Facebook and Twitter, and from other cultural white noise that clutters my soul. Pray that my Father the Vinedresser would prune me so that I could bear much more fruit. Ask that I would return on April 1 like Moses, whose face shone after he had been with God.

Thanks, and feel free to take the rest of the day off.

Suggested resources: The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan and Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton.

Love. Humility. Zeal. Knowledge.

These four words provided stepstones for my personal development path in 2009. They came to me during an extended day with the Lord in June, a day when I was asking Jesus what specific areas he wanted me to pursue for the next season of my life. So, over the past half year most of my close friends know that I’ve been hovering around these four ideas, seeking insight on their implications for my own growth, service and leadership. What follows is a snapshot of what I’m learning.

LOVE. Some time ago a mentor asked me “Where do you want to grow, Ken?” I replied: Soft people skills. The next time we were together he brought that up, saying, “Ken, you know, in Christian leadership there’s no such thing as soft people skills. It’s called LOVE.” Jesus spoke often of love. So did Peter and Paul. Love one another, we are urged. Greater love has no one than this, that she lay down his life for her friends. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not seek its own. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Make every effort to add to your faith… love. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Love your neighbor as yourself… and so on.

I spend an inordinate amount of time in various leadership settings around the world. It pains me to say that if we made podcasts of all of these discussions and played them back, we wouldn’t hear the word “love” pop up nearly as frequently as we’d like to think. If three of the world’s greatest spiritual leaders spoke so often of love, I should definitely pay more attention to this. For me this means forgiving people more readily when their mistakes cost me time, extra effort or loss of face. It means growing in p a t i e n c e. It means constantly depending on the Holy Spirit for discernment on when I should intervene as a leader and when I should allow others’ decisions to play out over time. I am usually too quick to rush to judgment or leap in to save. Yep. Still learning, still growing here.

Next up: HUMILITY.